Organically Growing

This week has been hell. Well, let me pinpoint it more specifically: The hours of 9:30pm to 7am have been hell.

Ryder has not been sleeping well. When he used to only cry once a night (around 10:30p, eat and go back to sleep) and then grunt himself back to sleep at various other points in the night – now he is waking up nearly every 3 hours in a crying fit. I mean, screaming at the top of his lungs, arching his back and tears streaming down his face type of crying. The poor babe is practically inconsolable. And if I try to let him “cry it out” – which I lasted about 5 minutes – he stands at the crib railing, wailing and staring at the door waiting for someone to rescue him.

This has been going on since last Sunday, but last night was particularly bad. My goal for last night was to keep him in his crib. (I’ve been breaking down and bringing him to bed, which isn’t much better but at least I could be horizontal while I was soothing him.) We were up at 3am for his 3rd fit of rage for the evening. I rocked and shushed, nursed and cuddled him until 5am. My back was aching and my poor monkey, though not crying the entire time, was also not staying asleep. He would be sound asleep in my arms but the second his feet his the mattress he would be screaming and standing at the end of the crib.

After two hours and a sore back, I brought him to bed with me. I laid him on my chest, rubbed his back and within a minute, he was sacked out on top of me … just like he used to do when he was a newborn. This is my favorite memory of his infant stage and I have to say, it was every bit as sweet and cozy last night as it ever was. I felt so lucky to get to cuddle with my not-so-little-anymore boy.

Then I promptly fell asleep myself.