Organically Growing

Here’s a fun story. While breasftfeeding Ryder late this afternoon, he decided to see what these two new teeth are all about and clamped down on my nipple. He looked at me with excited eyes that seemed to say, “what do you think of my new trick?”

Remembering tips from the Baby Whisperer, I calmly said, “No Ryder. We don’t bite Mommy. That hurts me” and gently broke away. He must have seen the pain in my eyes because his toothy smile quickly turned into an exaggerated frown and big, fat tears started streaming down his face. He was truly sad! I comforted him and we tried eating again.

The same thing happened two more times. Complete with teary apologies on both our ends.

I’m a little nervous about feeding him tonight. But considering he’s crying it out right now …. I have more pressing issues to deal with at the moment.

Mom was right. Like she usually is. I spent yesterday and today drinking loads of water, and although I’ve had no appetite and am still queasy, managed to eat some yogurt. Ryder has been nursing like a fiend (bottles just don’t cut it!) and I’m feeling like all is back to normal.

Disaster averted.

I’ve spent the last 15 hours in a hotel bed, nibbling on ice chips and calling the front desk to deliver Alka Seltzer and Sierra Mist (I haven’t had a soda in, oh, a year?). I don’t know what hit me, but it appears to have been a 10ton Mack truck.

Without going into details, I haven’t been able to keep an ounce of anything in my system for more than an hour. I hauled myself out of bed long enough to try and pump, got a measly 2 ounces after 15 minutes. I quickly go into panic mode that I’m going to lose my supply.

A quick call to my mom (registered nurse) and she assures me that if I keep trying to drink water and get busy pumping and nursing when I get home, all with be ok.

Despite the fact that I’m facing a 7 hour flight home today, through delay-ridden Minneapolis airport, all I can think about is losing my milk supply over a damn 24-hour bug.

I’ve known that my start date at work was going to be August 17 since the day after Ryder was born. I’ve had four months to get things organized, and I did all the major stuff: milk has been pumped, nanny has been hired, new 4-day work schedule has been approved.

What I didn’t know was that I would be going on a last-minute trip to Indianapolis for a team meeting my second week back. Not only was it my first night (s) away from Ryder, but my first time pumping out of the house! Here are a few details that would have made pumping on the road a little bit easier.

• A cute bag for pump carrying. Yes, I have the Medela Pump In Style Shoulder Bag. No, I do not want to carry it to an office for a meeting.
• For this trip, I brought my small handpump, making a little tote bag even much more needed. Instead, it went in with my makeup bag, wrapped up in a zip top plastic bag. Classy, I know.
• A less conspicuous insulated bag for carrying milk home. The cooler bag with frozen blue cube that came with the pump doesn’t fit in my laptop bag and it looks weird to stash in the cafeteria fridge. But I did it anyway.
• Hooter Hider. I’ve refused to buy one of these because I figured a big blanket does the trick to feed the boy in public just fine. It is less manageable to pump and manipulate blanket to appropriate positioning. This would have been super convenient for airport pumping.
• Pump bra for hands-free pumping in hotel room so I can work and pump at the same time.

Everyone was curious how I would handle being away from Ryder for the first time. I have to admit that I was more worried about how I would pump for 2 days than how Ryder would fare without me.

Instead, I was focusing most of my energy on how/when I would be able to pull my hand  pump out of my suitcase and keep the milk a-flowing. On my layovers (both directions), I ended up pumping in the airport bathroom. I know it sounds disgusting, but I was super careful about not touching anything and keeping the parts clean. And when it came down to it – when you’re on a 7 hour flight, you have to get the milk out somehow.

I was super psyched to learn that our new office has a “Wellness Room” – which is quite obviously a mother’s room with a comfy chair, sink and little fridge. I work with such a young company, everyone I inquired with about the room didn’t know what it was for. And honestly, I felt like I was probably the first (and only) person to use it so far.

I missed him, but I wasn’t tearful or terribly upset. Maybe it was because the red eye on Monday night lead straight into a busy day of meetings on Tuesday and dinner out that night. Maybe because I was so tired on Tuesday that I passed out for 12 hours and then woke to a second days of running around so much that I hardly had time to think about anything but work and milk management.

I did realize though, that a crying baby on a flight (even a red eye) doesn’t phase me. I woke up several times on the flight and just thought – poor baby, he’s not getting a wink of sleep! And I promised myself that a red eye will not be an option for Ryder (unless we’re going to Argentina).

All in all, the trip went well and I came home with 40+ oz. of milk that security didn’t even bat an eye at.

My first night out without a baby waiting at home and I went for it! Two margaritas and a couple of beers and this lightweight was tispy! When I got back to the hotel from dinner, I determined that my milk was not going to be fit for consumption and had to do my first pump and dump.

If I wasn’t so tired when I flushed the 8 oz. of milk down the sink, I probably would have lamented its loss considerably more.

Even still, I do not forsee doing that again.

I got pretty busy pumping breastmilk in May, when we had lots of company to hold and cuddle Ryder while I hooked up to the milking machine. Hence, we now have a freezer full of milk that is about to “expire.” According to all the research I’ve read, frozen breastmilk stays good for 3 months when stored in a regular freezer. While I”m sure this is conservative, I figure why risk it when I’m still producing like a conventional farm heffer.

But what to do with all these bags of organic goodness? I couldn’t bear to see it thrown away. Then I got an email from a friend who whose newborn spent some time in the NICU for breathing concerns (he’s at home now and doing great). She mentioned in her message at the babe was taking in donated breastmilk. Ah-ha!

So I put a call out on my local Yahoo moms group and the response has been wonderful! Several moms who have recently adopted newborns were looking for breastmilk. I was able to give away my May milk to a local family and have contacts should I need to move through the June supply as well. While my May supply ended up only being about 40 oz. I figure that will give a newborn at least a couple days of breastmilk nutrition, and that’s a couple more days than he/she might have otherwise gotten. Every little bit is good for baby!

For those of you with high production, I would defintely recommend looking for opportunities to donate extra milk if you can.

Wowza, I don’t know if it was the change in cabin presure on the plane, now that I’m staying at altitutde, or the fact that Ryder ate a bottle on the plane instead of nursing, but my boobs are so full of milk, I might as well be a Holstein heiffer. My the end of the flight on Tuesday, my shirt was completely soaked – I mean, a bottle just dumped on my shirt soaked. But I figured I would get the boy to eat dinner and all would equal out. Not so.

The next day and my boobs are still rock hard and dripping all over everything. I had to break down and buy a “cheap” ($35) manual breast pump at Babies R Us because I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to manage 10 days away from the Pump in Style.

The rock hard boobs and pressurized milk made for very difficult eating for a couple days, so I starting the manual pump process (which worked surprisingly well, btw). I got a whopping 5 oz. out of the left jug in just 10 minutes of pumping. I was psyched!

So, I’ve spent the last couple of days pumping at least once a day to get the boobs down to a normal size and Ryder is munching happily on his 3 hour schedule. I think we are finally back on track (3 days later).

I’m not going to lie – I’ve been a small-chested gal my entire life. I’m not talking so flat I can go without a bra, but even when I was pudgy in my college days I was never larger than a 34B. With my milk production in high gear, I’m now proud to sport a whopping 38C. Not so large to be uncomfortable or require a special-order bra, but busty enough to offer some delightful cleavage in my new summer dresses. I’ve even gone so far as to say that I might have to get a boob job after this breastfeeding gig is over to keep the girls looking plump. Kidding of course (or am I?)!

Number 2 reason I am loving my boobs is the magical way they are producing so much milk everyday! Sure, the leaking through my dress at dinner the other night was embarrassing, and yes, a spontaneous eruption did ruin my new hoodie last week … but it never ceases to amaze me at how the milk just keeps on flowing. About an hour after Ryder’s second morning feeding, I’ll typically pump for 5-10 minutes just to get the girls a bit more comfortable. In this amount of time, I am getting 5-6oz. of milk. While I know Ryder is drinking that much during his feedings (maybe more!), there’s something about seeing it build up in the Medela bpa-free storage bottles. It’s so satisfying!