Organically Growing

A friend asked me yesterday, “how’s the sleeping thing going?” and it occurred to me that I hadn’t posted an update on the topic in quite awhile.

Truth is – the sleeping is going great! He sleeps from 7-11p (with the time change) then he wakes up and he sleeps the rest of the night until 7am … in bed with us.

I don’t know what to think about this “decision.” Seems like I kept meaning to do the sleep training and get him back to sleeping in his own crib, but there was also something to hinder it: new house, standing up, needing to learn to sit down, then two big teeth coming through and now a cold. It’s just so much easier on everyone if he sleeps with us. Everyone is getting a good night’s rest … and it’s really cute to wake up with him in the morning. He’s the best little alarm clock – climbing up to the window promptly at 7am every morning to watch the sunrise. And in the middle of the night, I hear him laugh in his sleep and sometimes  he crawls up on top of me to nurse or cuddle … sweet moments I would miss otherwise.

I’m not sure what we are going to do from here on out. I think as long as it’s  working right now, we’ll keep him in bed. Eventually he’ll want to sleep on his own, right?

Twice tonight, Marc relieved me from a fitful Ryder and got him resting again.  My hero!!

On  related note – found some great articles on Dr. Greene’s website. I found  these particularly comforting, given our current situation:
http://www.drgreene.com/qa/change-sleep-patterns?tid=207
http://www.drgreene.com/qa/sleep-patterns?tid=207

Great advice for teaching baby to sit down in the crib and go back to sleep. I have no doubt I will be called on to try it out tonight.

This week has been hell. Well, let me pinpoint it more specifically: The hours of 9:30pm to 7am have been hell.

Ryder has not been sleeping well. When he used to only cry once a night (around 10:30p, eat and go back to sleep) and then grunt himself back to sleep at various other points in the night – now he is waking up nearly every 3 hours in a crying fit. I mean, screaming at the top of his lungs, arching his back and tears streaming down his face type of crying. The poor babe is practically inconsolable. And if I try to let him “cry it out” – which I lasted about 5 minutes – he stands at the crib railing, wailing and staring at the door waiting for someone to rescue him.

This has been going on since last Sunday, but last night was particularly bad. My goal for last night was to keep him in his crib. (I’ve been breaking down and bringing him to bed, which isn’t much better but at least I could be horizontal while I was soothing him.) We were up at 3am for his 3rd fit of rage for the evening. I rocked and shushed, nursed and cuddled him until 5am. My back was aching and my poor monkey, though not crying the entire time, was also not staying asleep. He would be sound asleep in my arms but the second his feet his the mattress he would be screaming and standing at the end of the crib.

After two hours and a sore back, I brought him to bed with me. I laid him on my chest, rubbed his back and within a minute, he was sacked out on top of me … just like he used to do when he was a newborn. This is my favorite memory of his infant stage and I have to say, it was every bit as sweet and cozy last night as it ever was. I felt so lucky to get to cuddle with my not-so-little-anymore boy.

Then I promptly fell asleep myself.

Last week was brutal. Ryder was up every 3-4 hours, crying hysterically, taking about 45 mintues of soothing to get him back to sleep. I was feeling really frustrated, like I was failing and couldn’t do my “job” as  mom. I was frustrated with Marc, who one night, gave it up at 2am and slept on the couch. I found myself starting to resent my beautiful little babe for keeping me up all night. As if he could help it!

I tapped into my new mom friends and was relieved to know that everyone was experiencing mixed sleep patterns. I also checked out a book called something about the Sleep Lady’s Solutions. She advocates soothing baby when he wakes up at night, but weaning away from feedings (though I’m keeping the 2am one for now) and reducing the amount of crying he does.

After about 5 nights of this, I’m starting to see some changes. Ryder still wakes up at 10:30p (on the dot) but he cries for only a minute or so, then calms himself and goes back to sleep. I can even hear him pulling the pacifier to his mouth. At 1:30 or 2am when he cries, I jump right up and feed him – putting him back to bed 15 minutes later.

The tough one right now is the 5am wake up. He’s typically very upset and hard to get back down. More than once I have resorted to rocking him, and Marc brought him into bed after a particularly long morning of tears (which ended up being OK because we got to cuddle and he slept until 9am). This morning, though, he cried for a couple minutes, babbled softly to his new cuddly teddy bear blanket for awhile (which was SO freaking cute) and then dozed himself to sleep until his 7am wake up.

We’re getting there …

I’m not sure what I was expecting would happen with the introduction of the bedtime lovey, but I have to say I’m a little disappointed.

Wait – that’s a lie. I know exactly what I was expecting: I thought this little cozy doll would signal to Ryder each night that it was bedtime, and he was easily (and quickly) drift off to sleep once I placed it in his welcoming arms in the evening. I thought that when he woke up in the night, feeling startled or scared, that his cozy would lull him back into blissful sleep … without so much as an interruption in my own dreams.

This has not been the case.

Ryder isn’t the least bit interested in the cozy. Sometimes he will clutch at it as he is fighting sleep, or he will drift off while I’m rubbing his face with one of the soft bamboo “arms” (coincidence?) … but generally, it’s not the “cue” I was hoping it would be.

Does it take more time? Or, do I need to try a new toy? Maybe he’s just not connecting to this lovely??

Ryder is becoming increasingly mobile in his crib. He’s doing a cobra pose that has his little eyes peeking up over the top of the crib in the mornings, and he’s spinning around nearly all night long in every which-way.

My concern now (you knew there had to be one, right?) is his head bouncing back and forth on the sides of the crib. He bangs so loud it often wakes me before the crying. And then the crying …. oh the tears. It’s a different cry than his typical late night bouts, which makes me think he’s hurting himself! One day last week, I think he even had a bit of a black eye.

So, I’m thinking about putting the bumper back in the crib to protect against the head bashing. I put a call for opinions out to my mom’s group listserve and have gotten some good ideas – including weaving the bumper in and out of the slats to remove the risk of “pockets” where Ryder could get stuck between bumper and crib. Also, it’s important to note that once he starts pulling himself up in the crib, the bumper will have to go again as he’ll be able to use it as a step.

What do you think?

I’m probably going to jinx us, but Ryder has had TWO successful nights of sleep, going to bed at 7:30p with little to no resistance, sleeping until 2am, eating/diaper change and going back to sleep until 7am. And even at 7, he just hangs out in his crib, cooing and rolling around.

Is it possible we have a breakthrough?

Here’s hoping our upcoming trip to Mexico doesn’t put us back to square one.

Night three of sleep training went about as good as night two. I think. I don’t really remember much. Marc said Ryder was up all night. I can’t confirm, nor deny that. I do remember feeding him at 1am, diaper change at 5am. I should try to consolidate those two events tonight.

What was new was the addition of a “lovey” cuddle doll to Ryder’s nighttime routine. A friend mentioned that her little guy has two loveys- one for naps/bedtime and one for car rides. He only gets to play when them during these noted times, so when she gets out the bedtime lovey, he it’s his cue to start winding it down.

Sounds like a legit idea to me.

For the bedtime lovey, I chose a Cuskiboo Organic Bamboo Cuddle Toy. It’s silky soft and looks like something that would be nice to cuddle during the night. I stuffed it in my shirt for awhile (per package instructions) to infuse my body scent in it. Ryder kept the toy close to him pretty much all night long – dragging it up and down the crib with him. Looking at this picture, I’d say he likes it:

Night two of “sleep training” (a term I picked up from all the very sweet sleep advice emails from local moms on a Yahoo group I belong to) went pretty well. Quite a few wake ups and crying fits, but they were much, much shorter in length and severity (or am I getting desensitized?) and Ryder put himself back to sleep each time with little to no soothing from a parent (sidenote: Marc joined me in the bedroom last night and did ample duty of soothing and even engineered an early morning diaper change. go dad).

Examination of gums this morning shows two little white specks I presume to be teeth cutting through. Layer on the stuffy nose and watery eyes, PLUS Elvira (nanny) said Ryder is doing some serious army crawls across the floor. It’s no wonder he’s not sleeping well! There’s a lot of changes in his little world!